Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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