I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
