I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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