hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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