I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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