Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
NoShamevember. You game?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
