I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
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connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
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i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize