I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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