I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize