i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
