then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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