I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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