sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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