Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize