I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me