Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.