Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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