Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.

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(707): View more from California

tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

Fav 16 1163 5018
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be

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(303): View more from Colorado

Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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(641): View more from Iowa

I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....

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(646): View more from New York

I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science

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