I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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