Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
