Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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