Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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