Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
