When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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