Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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