I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
