This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize