He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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