Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize