Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
