so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
