After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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