Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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