when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
