i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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