I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
