Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
