i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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