I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
