THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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