I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
