No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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