Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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