Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
