I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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