i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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