good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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