Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize