yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
