dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
