Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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