Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Floor bacon is actually really good
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
