The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
