Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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