I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
