i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
