All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Randomize
