Define "chronic" masturbator.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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