Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
