new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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