I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
