My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
