i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she told me i tasted like america
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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