i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
