You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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