the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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