it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
