I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
