omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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