i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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