once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
