You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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