I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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