i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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