Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
